Wake Up Call!

September 14, 2001

Yesterday, two days after the attack on the World Trade Center, I spoke to 200 people in Sunnyvale, California, the heart of Silicon Valley. These people are all professionals who have lost their jobs in the downsizing which continues to happen throughout the country.

Last month when the organization booked me as a speaker we had no idea that my topic: The Secrets Of Networking, would take on the meaning it did. Little did I know that the speech should have been called, Our Wake Up Call. I thought I was going to Silicon Valley to talk to people about how to network more effectively. The subject of networking took on a deeper meaning.

When I arrived, the man in charge of the meeting started with formalities, asking people to stand up, introduce themselves, announce what types of jobs and business opportunities they were looking for. This process is part of their weekly meeting format. There was laughter and a feeling of connectedness in the room. He then asked a very important question, "Does anyone in the audience have friends and family directly affected by the attack two days ago?" Many hands went in the air. He invited them to speak about their experiences. There was a moment of silence, and then, one by one they started to tell their stories about people they knew who were hurt and torn apart by the tragedy. Everyone else listened attentively. No one stirred. I could feel the deep emotions welling up in the room. A moment of silence was called for after the last person spoke. Everyone stood up. Some people held hands. These people for the most part come from Corporate America, and especially in the computer industry sharing emotions is not encouraged. Traditionally, any display of emotion means you're not together . . . you're not effective. Here, they allowed their emotions to flow. It's almost as if they needed this and were hungry for an opportunity to share their feelings with each other.

My speech was the next item on the agenda. My goal was to give them something to hold onto and at the same time challenge them to examine everything in their lives, not just their work. They were open and interactive. They were positive and hopeful. It was obvious that we were all there to help each other. I have never felt more empowered as a speaker. Life goes on, and these people were starting to see that when people unite, anything is possible.

I started off by telling them the story about how I came to be a Career & Life Coach. I wanted them to know who I was and why I was there talking to them. Some parts of the story are funny. They laughed and their hearts were open.

Then I hit them with the questions. An important part of A Wake Up Call is the willingness to consider questions. I asked them, "Why network? Why do you want to know how to network? Why do you want to bring new people into your life? What kind of people do you want to bring in? For what purpose? What is your life all about? How do you want to live? What do you stand for?" I felt them all go inward searching for the answers to these questions.

We got into discussions about goals and how to reexamine them. Some of them are still in the stage of gathering information, doing research, and not ready to make a decision yet about what direction to take. I made sure they knew that it was important to give themselves permission to accept where they are in the process. We are such a decision making nation. Sometimes we decide too fast. Sometimes it's appropriate not to make a decision. During those times, we need to sit and ponder a question, think it through, consider the history, gather all the pieces, try on different scenarios and see how we feel about them. My partner, James, says . . .

"Our Truth is like a puzzle. We go through life finding pieces and seeing where they fit. We know that these are pieces of our truth by how we feel about them. If we are lucky we get to see the bigger picture."

One person asked me to address the difference between aggressiveness and assertiveness. An interesting question in light of the events earlier this week. I saw this as an opportunity to share with them what I have learned over the years about hatred versus love. And I knew these folks, in the heart of the computer industry, were ready to hear it. I explained that aggressiveness was a term used for "steam rolling," and that people who are aggressive do not have regard for other people. They are filled with hatred and anger. Somewhere along the line they got wounded and the wound never healed. They are self serving and self absorbed. And using their force to control is the only way they know. They are terrified of emotions like fear, grief, guilt and shame. This is misuse of power, Ego Power. And although it is not our right to judge these people, it is our responsibility to be aware of them.

I explained the difference between authentic power and inauthentic power. Assertiveness, on the other hand, was an illustration of authentic power. It is excitement, enthusiasm, and boldness at its best. I explained to them that assertive people come from their hearts. Their hearts are open and they stand for right action. In order to know the difference, we must know ourselves on a deep level.

Gary Zukav, author of The Seat of the Soul, states:
"The attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon are occasions for great significance. They are opportunities for you to feel inside, to find those parts of yourself that are in fear, and to make the decision to move forward in your life without fear."

Dr. Deepak Chopra, author of The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, asks us more questions. In regard to the attack he asks:
"What are you and I as persons going to do about what is happening? Can we afford to let the deeper wound fester any longer? Everything has a cause, so we have to ask, What was the root cause of this evil? Does this evil grow from the suffering and anguish felt by people we don't know and therefore ignore? Have they lived in this condition for a long time?"

Sometimes the questions are more important than the answers. It takes considerable courage to sit with these questions and to be with these feelings. As I brought my speech to a close I knew that something very important had happened in that room. This morning I received this e-mail from one of the directors regarding yesterday's speech:

Hello Joy:

Thank you for your presentation.

It had an impact on all there. It also created a vast amount of open discussion after the session. There were groups in the parking lots discussing where they really wanted to be in life and what is really most important to them.

What part will you play in rebuilding our future? And what is your relationship with yourself, your friends and family, and your work? In regards to your work, if you cannot do your work with joy, then something has to change. The work we do in life can be an outward expression of the passions we embrace and the beliefs we stand for. We are entering an new time, and our relationships need to be addressed on all levels.

It is time for us to deal with these questions. It is time to have the courage to take this tragedy into ourselves and ask for a deeper meaning.

It is time to answer Our Wake Up Call!

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