Are You Getting What You Need?

"Vision without action is a daydream
Action without vision is a nightmare"
Japanese proverb

Written by Joy Broughton, Career & Life Coach

When Sarah walked into my office, I immediately felt the heaviness of her energy. Even though she was beautiful, I was reminded of the phrase "Don’t judge a book by it’s cover." As she talked with me, I realized that she was really depleted of energy. She said, "I’m 38 years old. I make good money in my position, and own my own home. I’m not married. I have no children, and I got out of bed one morning and realized that I didn’t know how this happened. My life wasn’t supposed to be this way. All I do is work, and basically I have no life. How did this happen?"

Sarah is one of many that life just happens to. At 38, she "woke up" and realized she wanted more from life. Now, seven years later, she is a Certified Financial Planner, has a very balanced life, and has learned how to say, "No!" One of the things I see a lot as a Career & Life Coach is that people don’t say, "no" in the right places in their lives, and they don’t say "yes" appropriately either. Sarah, like so many people I meet, was giving away her time and energy to people and things that were not serving her. She was looking for approval outside of herself instead of looking within. Here’s an example. She called me one day and told me that her boss wanted her to work on the weekend, "again." This time she was really examining where and why she was saying yes and no. As we worked it through, she found the courage to tell her boss that she needed to have a serious talk about her hours. To her surprise he was open to it. As we worked together, she examined all areas of her life; home, free time, fun, spirituality, health, friends and family, and last but not least, her love life. Today, she is in a committed relationship that nurtures her and supports her. She took the time to build a network of people which made her extremely marketable as a Financial Advisor. Sarah understands the value of relationships, professional and personal. And because she is very disciplined about the balance in her life she attracts similar types of people as clients. Sarah said to me recently, "When I work with my clients we examine their LIFE goals, not just their financial goals. I do this because if we don’t they may not be around to enjoy the fruits of their labor."

When you look at your life, ask yourself some very important questions: Do I know how to say "no?" Do I have clear boundaries? Do I say "yes" when offered something that would give me pleasure? Do I have enough FUN in my life? Do I have a rich INNER LIFE? Are the people in my life good for me? Do they nurture me? Do they really LISTEN to me? Do I communicate my needs to people effectively? Do I give feedback and say "thank you" enough?

When I work with people I ask them, "Is there something you’ve been wanting to do that you need to give yourself permission to do? Are you living the life you were meant to live?" Here are some things I suggest you think about: Get on the web and check out Spiritual Retreats. Think about going somewhere you’ve never gone before. Visit or join a club that will introduce you to people that are more aligned with your values. Consider finding a mentor or becoming a one. Become more aware of how these relationships can enrich your life. Think about taking a job you’ve never considered before. Stay open to signs. Walk a Labyrinth. Learn to meditate. Consider therapy or coaching as a way to get to know yourself better. Stretch yourself. Open up your imagination. And above all, be kind and gentle with yourself. One step at a time.

 

Biography:

Joy Broughton, a corporate staffing manager for 20 years with experience in sales, advertising and personnel, brings a wealth of personal and professional skills to her work as a LIFE COACH. She has a sterling reputation for helping hundreds of people find their passion, and move into their highest good and purpose. In a gentle and powerful manner, Joy will help you discover your passion and live with purpose.

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